[ insert sarcasm here ]

Where I read romance novels and take them apart so you don't have to; all the while calling out the bullshit and wishing that there was enough brain bleach and booze to get me through it all. Expect gifs and swearing.
~ Saturday, September 1 ~
Permalink

Bared To You – Chapter 6

Eva’s having a chat with her father at the start of this chapter and it’s all well and good. He’s planning to come out to see her. Then we get more dumped on us about her tragic past.

That was one of the reasons I never told him about what happened to me.
As soon as she’d found out what her stepson was doing to me, she’d left a husband she was happy with and filed for divorce.

Extrapolating from this, my best guess (and I’m more than probably right) is that her stepson was sexually abusing her when she was a child. She never reported any of the abuse, which isn’t uncommon and it’s okay. Maybe it’s not morally right or whatever, but given how victims of any sort of sex crime are treated, it’s not surprising.

Now, one positive thing to be said is that she does seem to have dealt with it and is comfortable with herself despite what she went through. That, though, is out-weighed by the fact that she doesn’t demonstrate having suffered any trauma – it can happen, I suppose, but the fact that she doesn’t demonstrate any issues is really rubbing me the wrong way.

This is just another example of how this sort of tragic background is just used to add a bit of spice or whatever to the narrative. It makes the characters more interesting or something. I guess that tragic backstories are in vogue or whatever.

Stuff like this just really trivializes abuse because it’s used to be “sensational” and instead of dealing with the issues surrounding it, it’s just there as a cheap way to give a character a background full of tragedy.

Fuck this shit.

Cut back to getting ready for the charity event. We get a lovely description of Eva’s dress and I just sort of went bwuh? about it because huh?

The dress my mom had sent was fire engine red and styled for a Grecian goddess. It hung on one shoulder, cut diagonally across my cleavage, had ruching to the hip, and then split at my right upper thigh all the way down my leg. There was no back to speak of, aside from a slender strip of rhinestones that connected one side to the other to keep the front from fal ing off. Otherwise, the back was bared to just above the crack of my buttocks in a racy V-cut.

Sorry, I just… can’t picture what this dress looks like. It just looks tacky in my opinion.

Let us emphasize that both of these people have tragic backstories.

He’d finally propositioned me crudely, having come to believe the only reason people associated with him was because they wanted to fuck him.

Oh yeah, Cary did some digging on Gideon and printed off all the stuff he could find so then Eva goes about reading it now. It’s, in her words, a trainwreck. Everyone in this book has had a shitty life, apparently, but that’s all okay because they’re all very pretty and living glamorous lives now.

I don’t even know anymore. But I get the feeling that this is going to be another shitfest about how all Gideon needs to become something other than a piece of shit is the love of a woman. That he’ll be healed by her love or something.

This is shit and I hope you know that. I’m fucking done with this shit.

It was like watching a train wreck to read that he was the son of Geoffrey Cross, former chairman of an investment securities firm later found to be a front for a massive Ponzi scheme. Gideon was just five years old when his dad committed suicide with a gunshot to the head rather than face prison time.

Well, that’s probably the most original tragic backstory I’ve seen to date. At least so far we’ve avoided it being tied into a woman in some way.

Still, tragic backstories are tragic and required. Fuuuuuuuuck.

I have no sympathy for Gideon. I’m not sorry. The guy is an unwavering douchecanoe and I hate his guts. I don’t even care anymore about any of this shit. I just want to see it jettisoned into the sun.

Eva is immediately all sadface about Gideon’s ~*tragic past*~ because oh the poor dear, he’s so screwed up no wonder he’s such an ass.

Except no.

Cary shows up with Gideon. Off to the charity event they go!

When Gideon settled beside me and the door shut, I became highly conscious of how good he smelled.

Does he smell like rainbows and glitter? I bet he does what with how often he ~*dazzles*~ you.

More bland sexual tension and shit. I’m just bored right now and shit. They start making out in the back of the limo and I’m still bored. Then things start getting heated and a penis makes its appearance.

He was so hard, like stone, and hot. I slid both of my fists up his length from root to tip, my breath catching when he quivered beneath me.

Stone penises don’t sound all that appealing to me. The dirty talk is even better.

“Your cunt is so sweet,” he murmured into my mouth. “I want to spread you out and lick you ’til you beg for my cock.”

Have I told you that I don’t like the word cunt? Because I don’t.

They are having sex in the back of a limo. It’s all very erotic and such. I’m just going to take a couple notes for writing this scenario with other characters and then we’re all good.

“You’ve seduced me into having sex in my limousine, but blush when I tell my driver I don’t want to be interrupted while you do it to me?”

Man, this is just so sexy you guys. I just don’t know what to do besides banging my head against the table.

The scent of our lust was heavy and humid in the air, a seductive mix of need and pheromones that awakened every cel in my body. My skin was flushed and tingling, my breasts heavy and tender.

I’m starting to worry about your breasts now. I don’t know about you, but your breasts are starting to sound like they’ve taken a beating or something. No ones touched them yet they feel tender. Man, makes me think of chicken…

Wow, that was a really sexy thought! Let’s move on.

his powerful body straining with the primal need to mate.

Is this supposed to be like the whole manly man thing? I don’t understand it at all. So I’m just going to sit over here and frown while I try to understand what the fuck is going on.

Just so we are all aware, Gideon has a very big cock and Eva’s vagina is like an ocean because it keeps rippling. That huge cock of Gideon’s is really amazing and stuff because it’s already got Eva on the verge of orgasm and all she’s done is take him inside of her.

Sort of worried that everyone’s temperature keeps going up. Are they going to spontaneously combust or something?

feeling the orgasm building with every slide of his long, thick penis into my melting core.

Eva has an orgasm that is awesome and amazing and then Gideon keeps going and stuff and ow crossing my legs now.

He hit the end of me with every deep thrust, battering into me.

MY VAGINA IS HAVING NONE OF THIS BULLSHIT. IT IS NOW WORKING TOWARDS SEWING ITSELF UP BECAUSE DO. NOT. WANT.

Gideon Cross is packing a battering ram in his pants, good to know! Does he expect there to be treasure if he batters down her cervix?

Someone needs to tell me what “feral ecstasy" sounds like because all I can picture is a cat yowling in heat and that’s not pleasant at all.

They finish up the sex and Gideon’s almost tender and stuff and then they clean themselves up but Eva doesn’t have panties anymore because Gideon tore hers off. Then everything just goes cold.

All the warmth I’d felt receded into a marked chill, cooling me enough that I pulled my shawl around me again.

Yeah, Gideon pretty much treats her like shit after the sex. He’s all DRINK? and she’s all no thank you and he’s all SILENCE and COLD and I’m like: Well fuck you asshole. Seriously, it’s just… awful and painful and I want to kick this book.

Confused and stung, I pulled on my gloves and tried to figure out what went wrong.

With that, we close the chapter. Next time promises to be awkward and painful to read. I’m not looking forward to it.

Tags: sporking Bared To You when i want bad sex this is what i'm talking about it's a mix between being not too bad and being hilarious at other times tragic backstories for everyone! his tragic background doesn't excuse the fact that he is an asshole at least there's porn all of this is shit
2 notes
  1. fate-hates-faraday said: One day, I’ll write a book where no one has a tragic past.
  2. zephyrscribe posted this